Thursday, March 19, 2009

All is Fair

***Grey’s Anatomy Spoiler Alert (If you haven’t already seen last week’s episode!)***

Is all really fair in love and war? If you watched Grey’s this past week and saw Derek smash his mother’s ring, Meredith’s ring, out of the park, then it just doesn’t seem fair. Mr. Palindrome and I can sometimes not fight “fair.” When you’ve been together for four years and you reach an impasse during a fight, it’s easy to default to: “If that’s how you really feel, then we should break up!”

Now that we’re engaged, that last line really doesn’t pack the same punch. In the movies, they do it all the time – they take the ring off and slap it on the table, or they throw it across the room, or they hit it to kingdom come with a baseball bat. I’ve done it. I slipped the ring off and asked him what it really meant to us.

I’m not in a place where I have doubts about if Mr. Palindrome is “the one.” I know he is. But in a relationship that is headed towards a solemn vow before God, a forever vow, heavy duty introspection is a good thing. While taking off the ring is symbolic, I think it’s just as important to know why you’re wearing it and what makes you want to wear it forever.

Working through the moments of, “Are we going to make this work? Or are we going to walk away?” is the difference between a successful marriage and a failed marriage. It is not fun to have a serious fight or to wade through the feelings you keep deep in your soul, but it is necessary.

Do you think Meredith did the right thing by telling Derek she wasn’t going anywhere? Have you ever taken your ring off in an argument? How did you resolve the issue?

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