Two Become One

After the wedding weekend in RI, and thinking about this post from Meg, I'm particularly struck by what it means for "two to become one." I wonder if I'll lose myself, I wonder if I'll compromise myself, I wonder if myself is exactly the person that I want to be grow into something new. All of these thoughts swam and churned in my head.

Blogging has forced me to gather my thoughts about trivial things like feathers and tulle, so why not use it to gather my thoughts about a philosophy about who I am and how marriage will change that? Right.

1. For me, it all starts in Genesis. And why not? It's the beginning. Gen. 2:24:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

This is the verse in between when God created humankind and when they were naked and not ashamed. I had a Sunday School teacher who pronounced it nekked. That still tickles my funny bone. Back to the point, two becoming one is illustrated here by leaving the tents of your families and starting a new family.

2. The relationship becomes more complex in light of the relationship between Christ and the church. Ephesians 31-33:

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

3. I think (Disclaimer: I'm not a divinity expert), that one aspect of two becoming one quite literally refers to the intimacy of sex. In this sense, two becoming one is something I'm really looking forward to. See this post for more on that.

4. I think another aspect is that you no longer get to only focus on yourself in a marriage. When you're single and unattached, you get to make decisions that benefit you solely. When you're in a marriage, you have to make decisions that benefit you as a team. It's about going from two individuals, moving in all sorts of directions, to being one team, moving in the same direction.

5. Future sister-in-law Palindrome said to me something about how I make her brother a better person. I feel the same way about him making me a better person. This kind of intimacy, experienced when we're together (and which I hope deepens after were married) is one reason why I don't think "becoming one" is a negative thing. I'm not losing myself in a marriage, I'm gaining a life companion who challenges me and encourages me. It sounds cheesy, but there's a sense of completion in that relationship - the sense of completion that we will know in full when we're with God for eternity. Our earthly marriages reflect just a taste of that.

What do you think? Is "two becoming one" a positive or negative thing for you?