Thursday, July 9, 2009


I had been told by my friends that the guest list was one of the hardest wedding related tasks. I had heard the jokes when I mentioned I was working on mine: "Good luck!" I had thought that it didn't apply to me.

These are the reaons I thought I was going to have an easy go of the guest list:
1. We wouldn't have to make any cuts because we had made the decision to have a big wedding rather than a small intimate affair
2. It would be easiest to invite all family members.
3. My group of friends would stay set for the year of the planning.
4. We could decide a number, put all the family on the list, then go around from his parents, to my parents, to us and we could each add someone until we reached the magic number.

These are the reasons why I ended up with everyone else on the wedding guest list roller coaster:
1. There are always going to be more people that you could invite.
2. Some family members get arrested, become mentally unstable, or get into hot water with the wedding financiers.
3. During the move toward being a permanent couple, friendships grow and change. Add in two moves and people getting back in touch with you to congratulate you on the engagement . . . you end up with a bevy of old and new friends that it just wouldn't seem right to celebrate without.
4. Since all of the parties are spread across the country, a sit down was impossible and it turned into a "send us your list, send us your list and I'll merge them into tracker" kind of deal.

We settled on a guest list as we sent out the Save-the-Dates this week. My personality (read: not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings), combined with Motherdrome's exhuberance for inviting and a dash of Fatherdrome's practicality, eventually met in the middle.

The hardest part of the process was setting emotions to the side. People weren't cut from the list because we hated their guts and would barf wedding cake if we saw them at the wedding. There were simply situations that would prove to be a damper on the wedding celebrations, or just a plain, old lost connection. Fatherdrome helped so much - he took on the responsibility of explaining to family members how the decisions were made.

Are you stressed about your guest list? Has anyone in the family stood up for you and your decisions?
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