Interestingly enough, being happy is sometimes the exact source of my worry. Call it first child syndrome, people pleasing, or a personality flaw, but whatever you call it, I have it. In my immense desire to please people, especially authority figures, I sacrifice what I think will make me happy.
In my own mind, this sacrifice ultimately will make me happy because I think that my source of happiness will stem from pleasing that person. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, congratulations! You may be a youngest born, or just not give a crap about what anybody else thinks. I truly wonder how free that must feel!
*tap, tap, tap*
Excuse, Miss Palindrome? This is a wedding blog about rainbows and butterflies and love being enough!
Well, dear reader, I never would have believed it before going through it myself, but weddings are not all they're cracked up to be. Now just gather around and let me tell you a little wedding story.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl who believed that every girl would feel like Cinderella on her wedding day and that she would have lovely glass slippers to wear. This little girl grew up and fell in love with a man an inch tall than her.
So she decided that she would buy a pair of ballet flats.
She also couldn't stop browsing Ebay and found a gorgeous pair of high heels. Prince Charming encouraged her to wear what she wanted to wear. Then the well meaning mother, whom the girl adored, sang the praises of the ballet flats. She tried them both on with her dress and knew that she felt glamorous and like a movie star in the high heels. But the well meaning mother made a long list of reasons not to wear them.
The girl couldn't sleep at night. Mother loved the pretty ballet shoes. And everyone knows that: "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." All of the lovely maids by the girl's side also whispered in her dreams. They said, "You should feel glamorous in your shoes!" The girl entertained all sorts of compromises, wearing the movie star shoes and then wearing the ballet shoes later. And vice versa.
Unable to make a choice, a sad and conflicted spell was cast upon the girl and she could not sleep again until she made the choice to make herself happy, or make others happy.
Are you easily influenced by your desire to please others? Did you ever commit to a wedding item that someone else liked, only to regret it later?
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